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Sunday, August 20, 2006

losing focus

i'm a very fickle person. all my life i find a new interest and after exploring what i want i get bored and go back to my old routine. I feel a disconnect between my longing to find and learn new things and a deep seated rooting to just sit back and be complacent. I don't do anything anymore. Back in the city I was much more into being alone and actually doing things but since I've moved out to Long Island I rather just sit in my room and just sit. Maybe it's a reaction to the non stop too afraid to miss out life I used to live. So once again I rededicate myself to self improvement. What I really want is a program or routine to keep pushing myself.